Stevie Nicks Has Never...

Stevie Nicks has never been carried off stage screaming, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T BELIEVE IN THE WAYS OF MAGIC??” after belting Christine McVie in the face during a live performance of “You Make Loving Fun”.

Stevie Nicks has never gotten in a row with her sponsor over her Slutty Line of Cocaine costume.

Stevie Nicks has never rolled over on the morning of November 1 and wondered why the fuck Charlie Chaplin, Betsy Ross and a hobo were all in bed with her, too.

Stevie Nicks has never dressed up as a fairy goddessmother, actually.

Stevie Nicks has never worn cat ears on a Tuesday just because.

Stevie Nicks has never gotten Pat, Kate, Linda, and Elton together for a secret Spice Girls costume party.

Stevie Nicks has never accompanied Tom Petty to a costume party as “Mary Jane”.

Stevie Nicks has never shown up as a zombie nun to her intervention, suckers.

Stevie Nicks has never referred to Glenn Danzig as “fucking amateur” apropos of nothing.

Stevie Nicks has never recovered from the time she tried to do the Thriller dance and landed flat on her face after tripping on her robes.